Bride and Groom Renew wedding vows Weddings

Should the Bride Give a Speech at Her Wedding?

Wedding speeches were once reserved for the father of the bride and the best man. These days, the speeches can be customized to the couple’s preferences. For example, while the bride doesn’t need to give a toast at her wedding, many will opt to say a few words of thanks during the reception. If you want to speak at your wedding but are intimated by the thought of getting up in front of a crowd, this simple guide will help you deliver a heartfelt toast your guests will love.

wedding speech by bride

Who does the welcome speech at a wedding?

The welcome speech kicks off the wedding reception and is traditionally given by whoever is hosting the event. While this is often the new couple’s parents, in some cases, the bride (and/or their spouse) may opt to give the welcome speech instead.

How long is a wedding speech by the bride?

Three to five minutes is ideal for a bride’s speech. This gives you plenty of time to share your sentiments while also leaving space for speeches from the parents, the best man, and maid of honor, or your new spouse.

Tips for giving a bride wedding speech

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First and foremost, plan ahead by writing your speech a few months before your wedding day. As you write, remember to keep the phrasing natural so you’ll feel comfortable speaking on your big day. Practice makes perfect! Read your speech aloud to get a sense of the flow and practice your delivery in front of your partner or a trusted friend or family member.

Although you’ll have practiced your speech ahead of time, don’t pressure yourself to memorize your lines. Instead, bring a print-out, plus an extra copy in case one gets lost. Finally, when the time comes to give your speech, you may feel tempted to indulge in a few sips of champagne to help you loosen up. Just be careful not to drink too much before you take the mic. You want to remain clear-headed, so you can deliver your speech with ease and stay in the moment!

Ideas for a bride’s wedding thank-you speech

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Below are a few speech ideas to get your creative juices flowing:

  • Give a solo speech: If you’re comfortable with public speaking, you may want to deliver your speech solo. However, keep in mind that if your spouse also plans to speak, you’ll want to keep yours on the shorter side at around two to three minutes.
  • Share the spotlight: If you and your spouse opt for a joint wedding speech, you can deliver the speech together by taking turns speaking.
  • Focus on giving thanks: For a simple and straightforward approach, format your speech around expressing your gratitude for the people who have supported you in the lead-up to your wedding day (see the outline below for a few ideas).
  • Share a lighthearted story: Talk about the moment when you knew your spouse was “the one” or share a sweet or funny anecdote from the wedding prep.

 Bride wedding speech outline

Use the following outline as a framework to organize your thoughts as you begin writing your speech:

  • Start by saying a few words about your spouse and your new life together.
  • Welcome your new in-laws into your family.
  • Call out any loved ones who have helped make your wedding day possible. This can include your bridal party and any friends or family members who helped plan and prepare for the event.
  • Thank your guests for celebrating with you.
  • Give props to your vendors (such as your wedding planner, caterer, florist, DJ, photographer, etc.).
  • Close on a cheerful note with a toast for everyone to enjoy the festivities.

Why should you hire a bride speechwriter?

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Let’s face it: you already have a lot on your plate and writing your bride speech is probably the last thing you want to think about. I compose your bride speech with you, not for you, so your words will come straight from the heart, and you can focus on enjoying your special moment. Schedule a free consultation to collaborate on the perfect bride speech. We’ll even work together and practice the delivery too!

Mother of the bride Weddings

How to Write a Mother of the Bride Speech

As the mother of the bride, you’re sure to have a few sentiments you’d like to share with your daughter and her new spouse on their special day. If you’re overwhelmed with the thought of putting your feelings into words, take a deep breath and read on for a simple guide that will make writing your speech feel like a piece of cake.

What is the mother of the bride speech?

The mother of the bride speech is an important moment in the festivities. Whether you’re speaking at the bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, or during the wedding reception, your speech is a unique opportunity to express your love and share your well wishes for the new couple.

How long is the mother of the bride speech?  

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The key to a great mother of the bride speech is to keep it short and sweet. Aim for a maximum of three minutes and keep it focused on a few key points by following an outline, such as the one I’ve provided below.

How to write a mother of the bride speech

When it comes to delivering a memorable toast, preparation is key! Give yourself a few weeks—or even months—to write your speech. Start by jotting down anything that comes to mind as you think about your daughter, her partner, and their special day. Then, as you write, try to let go of any pressure and just be yourself. Write in your voice and let the words flow naturally. Next, read the speech aloud a few times to see how the words flow. (It’s also helpful to read it to a friend or family member you trust to provide constructive feedback.) If you come across any sticking points, go back to those spots and revise them until the words feel natural when you read them aloud.

Ideas for a mother of the bride wedding speech

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If you’re feeling stuck, here are a couple of mother of the bride speech ideas to get you started:

  • Incorporating a poem or quote can be a beautiful way to share a sweet sentiment or impart some advice when you’re having trouble finding the words. When searching for material, remember to keep it short and consider using just a few impactful lines that will convey your meaning.
  • If it feels natural, you may want to include a joke or two. Just make sure the joke is tasteful and fits in the context of the occasion—and, of course, test the joke with a friend or family member to make sure it’s funny! It’s also a good idea to avoid using any inside jokes, which could leave guests feeling left out.

Mother of the bride speech outline

The following outline can be used as a framework for writing a  speech that flows nicely and hits all the right notes:

  • Introduce yourself as the mother of the bride
  • Thank the guests—and especially the new in-laws—for sharing in the couple’s special day (you can also make mention of family members who could not attend or have passed away)
  • Share a positive memory about your daughter that highlights what you love most about her
  • Welcome your daughter’s new spouse to the family and thank them for being in your daughter’s life (this is also an excellent opportunity to share a fond memory you have with the couple)
  • Express your well wishes and any advice for the couple’s future before closing with a toast

Why should you hire a mother of the bride speechwriter?

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Writing the mother of the bride speech may seem as simple as putting a few thoughts together and watching YouTube videos for inspiration. But on her special day, your daughter deserves a speech that has been thoughtfully crafted and will live on as a fond memory for years to come.

I compose the mother of the bride speech with you, not for you, so you can rest easy knowing that your words will come straight from the heart. Schedule a free consultation to collaborate on the perfect mother of the bride speech. We’ll even work together and practice the delivery too!



Man of Honor Weddings

Can I choose a Man of Honor?

You’re getting married, and it is time to select the bridal party and the all-important maid of honor. Of course, your best friend is a guy, so you wonder, can you choose him to be the man of honor? Absolutely!

The pandemic has given couples a free pass to be creative in their choice of ceremony traditions and practices. Brides are inspired to choose a man of honor as a way of including a brother or best friend in a key role on her special day.

What is a man of honor?

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A man of honor takes on the maid of honor role with some creative alterations to the duties and attire of a traditional maid of honor. Simple.

Reevaluate the usual maid of honor duties

Simple? Yes, but it may take a bit of unconventional and out-of-the-box non-traditional thinking. Change up traditional ‘bridesmaid’ duties and functions.

  • Try a Jack and Jill shower to incorporate all the bridesmaids and groomsmen and eliminate a great deal of the stress of traditional and sometimes expensive events.
  • The bridal procession to the altar is wide open for interpretation. For example, you can have the groomsmen walk first, then the bridesmaids, followed by the man of honor before the bride and her dad/escort take center stage. Or, if the party is smaller, say 4-6 attendants, everyone can walk single file. There are no rules!
  • Hmm, what about the dress code? Be creative. He could dress similarly to the groomsmen or stand out in a unique take on the tuxedo cut and color of the groomsmen.
  • Guess what? You can have a maid of honor and a man of honor! This dynamic duo can get traditional duties done and introduce some unique ideas to the wedding planning process.

Include your bridesmaids in the discussions. Most likely, they know him well and respect your relationship. Hold an event or evening out to introduce the bridal party to each other as they start the planning process. They really are a team, your team, and the more they know each other, the easier the planning will be and your day will come off without a hitch.

Crafting the man of honor speech

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I would venture to guess that most people have not attended a wedding with a man of honor.  The speech is distinctive as it stands on its own because the man of honor is neither the maid of honor nor the best man. Therefore, the designation is unique and should be treated as such.

When the bride selected a man of honor, as opposed to a maid of honor, she bestowed upon him the highest form of regard, love, and respect. The speech should address the value of the relationship and the history that brought it all together on the wedding day. As in any other wedding speech or toast,  the speech needs to be genuine and reflective of the emotions and feelings of the day. The culmination of the speech conveys gratitude for being selected in such an essential role.

Are you ready to choose your man of honor?

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Choosing a man of honor is not about breaking tradition or adding shock value to the ceremony. It is all about friendship, love, and history. The groom or partner is ‘the one’ the bride has committed to and will cherish all the days of her life. The man of honor is there to see to it nothing gets in the way of saying, “I Do!”

It may have taken some courage for your man of honor to accept your kind invitation. Statistically, nearly 50% of people asked to be in a wedding party or participate in a wedding are hesitant and nervous about accepting. (and that is in traditional roles!) The man of honor may be in uncharted waters, so include him in all activities and let him decide how and where he is comfortable. The groom can be of assistance knowing the importance of your relationship with the man of honor.

Be creative, and enjoy planning your wedding day in whatever format and fashion you decide on as a couple. Your bridal party is there to help, so invite them in!

Don’t hesitate to hire a speechwriter.

Give him the gift of hiring a speechwriter to help him with the speech. We create custom and personal wedding speeches capturing his thoughts about you, the groom, and your special day.

Schedule a free consultation to collaborate on the ideal man of honor speech. (We will work practicing the delivery too!)


resources- Martha Stewart

Father of the bride speech Weddings

A Simple Guide to the Father of the Bride Speech

Your daughter is getting married. So many emotions are running through your mind…and heart. The Father of the Bride speech is beginning to loom over your head, and your anxiety level is mounting. Don’t let that happen. Here is a simple guide to the Father of the Bride speech that is sure to be a stress reliever.

What is the father of the bride speech?

The father of the bride speech traditionally occurs at the opening or conclusion of the toasts performed during the wedding reception. It is a personal preference and is determined by the bride, groom, and dad. Many dads prefer to kick off the toasts by going first (and getting it over with).

As the father of the bride, you sit in a unique chair. You have watched your daughter grow into the woman standing before you. You also have been a witness to her commitment and love for her soon-to-be husband.

How long is the father of the bride speech?

Hey Dads! I want to set your mind at ease. Stick to an outline or hire a Father of the Bride speechwriter to ensure succinct and focused content for the speech. Some speechwriters will rehearse the speech with you, and depending on your comfort level of public speaking, it may be well worth the investment! The father of the bride speech should be between four and six minutes- no more.

How do you write a father of the bride speech?

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My daughter’s basketball coach used to ask the team, “How do you eat an elephant?” They will all reply in unison, “One bite at a time!” The same holds for the father of the bride speech, so let’s break it down into small bites.

Introduce yourself as the father of the bride.

Feel free to thank everyone for sharing their special day. Be sure to thank anyone who planned the wedding, including your wife, bridesmaids, and professional planners. Some couples ask that a mention be made to family members who cannot attend or have passed away and have had a significant effect on the couple. You may wish to hint that the maid of honor and the best man will also be speaking after you.

Share your thoughts on the wedding day so far.

A brief mention will be about the ceremony and perhaps, literally, a few seconds on a particular segment such as the united candle lighting or a song sung by a relative.

Comment on your relationship with the bride.

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Ok dads, you have to hold it together here. This is an emotional moment in time. I have been married 32 years, so this was not a thing in my day, but my military dad was very emotional.

Select a moment or event that stands out for both of you. Then, show your daughter and the groom how much the experience meant to you.

Share your thoughts about the groom.

Speak directly to the groom. Show him you were paying attention as their relationship bloomed, and you are happy he is now a part of the family.

Welcome them as a couple. Perhaps share a little advice?

At this point, you need to be mindful of the time. The temptation to share a lifetime of stories is excellent but select one, maybe two, about their relationship that made the most impact- on all of you.

Raise a glass and toast!

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Share your feelings from the heart. That is all you have to do.

How much does it cost to hire a speechwriter?

The cost associated with hiring wedding speechwriters vary depending on a few fundamental factors:

  • Length of the speech. Some writers have a minimum, and if you require more than the minimum, the price can increase slightly. Get a detailed quote.
  • Research time. In many cases, the writer will meet with the father to gather information and facts for the blog speech. Inexpensive options include services that require a questionnaire to be completed and the speech delivered without meeting or speaking at all.
  • Location of the business and the client. New York City and some metropolitan areas will most likely be 20-25% higher than hiring a speechwriter in Niskayuna or Canandaigua, New York.
  • What’s in the package? There is more to this than words on paper. A good father of the bride speech is created from conversations, meetings, zooms, and a review at the end with possibly a rehearsal. That is what makes the speech your own. 

Why should you hire a father of the bride speechwriter?

At first glance, writing the father of the bride speech doesn’t seem too difficult. You probably think you can Google it or watch it on YouTube. Perhaps, but her special day requires your time and commitment to making it perfect.

I compose the Father of the Bride speech with you, not for you. So give us a try and schedule a free consultation to collaborate on the ideal father of the bride speech. (We work together and practice the delivery too!)

Please note- No matter how you proceed with the father of the bride speech, please do not wing it, and do not drink before you deliver this forever moment speech.

Renew wedding vows Wedding Officiant Wedding Vows

A Guide to Renewing Your Wedding Vows

Many couples reach a point in their marriage when they look to reaffirm and recommit their life and love to each other. Renewing your wedding vows is simple and easy and can be planned with a bit of professional help and guidance.

What is a wedding vow renewal?

A wedding vow renewal ceremony is a celebratory ceremony for a married couple to reaffirm their love and commitment to each other. Renewing your vows can be performed simply as an afternoon event in a backyard garden or as an extravagant evening affair of dinner and dancing.

  • You can still have a pastor, priest, or rabbi officiate the ceremony.
  • Children can participate in the ceremony and share stories about the family and their view of your marriage.
  • Gather your original wedding party to ‘stand up’ once again and attest to your love and commitment to each other.
  • Make it a theme party and celebrate commonality you both enjoy!

What do you say when you renew your wedding vows?

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When asked this question, I tell the couple that the page is blank, and we can write the vows together. Some couples revert to the vows they spoke on their wedding day. The tradition of repeating those vows is important to them. Other couples create personal vows to reflect both the joy and challenges of their marriage and where they are today.

Top three reasons couples renew their vows.

Every couple is unique and different, and their reasons for renewing their vows reflect that individuality. Even within the couple, one may be more deep and romantic and the other lighthearted and funny. Each has its unique spirit that drives the motivation for the renewal ceremony.

  • Celebrating a milestone. Many couples renew their vows on a milestone anniversary such as 5,10, 20, 25, 30, 40, or 50th. The anniversary renewal ceremony combines the original joy of the wedding day with a revitalized celebration of deep-found love and commitment.
  • Overcoming obstacles and challenges. Marriage is not for the faint of heart, and situations can arise that test the very core of the marital bond. Infidelity, loss of a child, illness, or perhaps terminal illness can be reasons for renewing the vows. Sadly, many times vows are renewed during Hospice to celebrate a life joined as one and hope to continue their marriage for all eternity.
  • Your original wedding was a civil ceremony. Couples married by the Justice of the Peace or an officiant look back and wish they had a formal ceremony. Renewing their vows allows the couple to recommit to their marriage in their own words. The ceremony can be done in a religious venue or at a favorite spot they have enjoyed, such as a lake, mountain, or even a ski resort!

Are wedding vows always renewed on the anniversary date?

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No, not necessarily, depending on the purpose of the renewal. If the marriage has been through challenges, the rebirth of the marriage may deserve a new date, a date to celebrate a stronger, more profound vow to each other.

Does a vow renewal require a license?

A vow renewal is not a legal ceremony, and you are not legally getting married again. This makes the ceremony a celebration of joy without any formality. Also note, you do not need an officiant who can perform a legal marriage. Anyone can officiate the vow renewal ceremony.

Planning your wedding vow renewal

Unlike a wedding, the renewal ceremony does not require all the pomp and circumstance. Most couples choose a smaller and intimate ceremony with family and friends.

  • Start with a discussion about the ceremony and celebration.
  • Create a budget and stick to it.
  • What will you wear? That depends on the venue and type of ceremony. Be prepared and discuss it in advance, nonetheless.
  • Light fare or sit-down dinner?
  • Gifts for each other? Here is a small piece of advice- talk about this in advance. You don’t want to have someone’s feelings hurt!

But most importantly are the vows. Professional wedding vow writers are skilled at uncovering the inner feelings you have for each other and composing them in a manner that can be communicated and delivered comfortably and genuinely.

Writing your wedding renewal vows.

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Keep it simple and from the heart. Many couples write their vows and search for some inspiration and guidance. Schedule a free consultation with me. Let’s work together to write your vows and capture why you said I do so many years ago.

Same Sex Marriage Ceremony Wedding Officiant Wedding Vows Weddings

10 Questions to Ask Your Wedding Officiant

Choosing the right wedding officiant is essential and knowing what to ask them is crucial to discover if you are a match. The officiant sets the tone and reflects the emotions and feelings between you and your spouse. It is imperative that you all ‘click’ to enjoy the experience of creating the vows and reciting them on your wedding day.

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What should I talk to my wedding officiant about?

Be open and honest with the officiant. Share your history as a couple and all the aspects of a wedding ceremony vital to you. The officiant is there to guide you, represent you, and marry you, not judge you. Be true to yourself and each other and ensure the officiant understands and can best deliver the ceremony you have envisioned.

10 Questions to Ask Your Wedding Officiant

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Ok, so you have narrowed it down to one of two officiants. Here is a sampling of questions to ask the officiant before you hire them.

Are you available on our wedding date?

This may sound like a silly question to start with, but you’d be surprised how many couples ask that question late in the process. If they are not available, ask for a recommendation.

How many weddings have you done?

Ask the question and keep an open mind. Everyone has a first time, and no couple wants to be their first. However, take into consideration the feeling you get from the officiant. Did you connect? Did you like them? Most importantly, did you trust them to work with you to create a uniquely personal ceremony?

How do you create the ceremony?

Most officiants will have both options available. Many couples find the traditional vows very comforting and stress-free. Other couples wish to create vows that reflect their love and relationship. Be sure to discuss this upfront, so you have time to decide or write your vows.

Can we write our vows, and will you help us?

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Many officiants do not write wedding vows. They perform the ceremony using traditional vows or vows written by the couple and given to the officiant in advance. Wedding planners and bridal consultants often handle the wedding details, and even the caterer ensures everything is perfect but defer to professionals to write the vows and speeches. I will absolutely help you write and practice your vows. I work one-on-one with every couple on the content and delivery of their wedding vows. The delivery is just as important as the words themselves.

Will you officiate in conjunction with a religious figure?

When a couple has mixed religions or half with no religious affiliate, an officiant is often asked to perform the ceremony in conjunction with a Rabbi, Priest, or Minister. Be sure to ask the officiant if they will perform the ceremony under these circumstances. Most do not have any issue with it at all.

How long will the ceremony be?

The average length of a ceremony is only about 30-45 minutes in length. Non-religious ceremonies are often quicker, and hybrid ceremonies with a religious reading or passage can be slightly longer. Discuss your desired ceremony length, and the officiant will work with you to deliver within the desired time frame.

Are you available for a rehearsal before the wedding?

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Most officiants will perform the rehearsal but may differ to the venue staff or wedding planner to rehearse. Be sure to communicate in advance that you would like them there for the rehearsal, so they do not book another wedding the day or evening before.

Do you prepare and file our marriage license?

Each state has its own laws, and some even vary from county to county. Be sure to discuss the process with the officiant, so there are no wedding day surprises. A couple who intends to be married in New York State must apply in person for a marriage license to any town or city clerk in the state. Both applicants must sign the application for a license in the presence of the town or city clerk. A representative cannot apply for the license on behalf of the applicant. This applies even if the representative has Power of Attorney.

What happens in case of an emergency?

If an illness or unforeseen circumstance occurs, ask the officiant if they have a backup to fill in for the ceremony. Be sure to get the contact information in advance, just in case.

What do you charge?

Officiant fees vary depending on the time commitment required. Pre-marital meetings and discussions, travel time, rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner commitments add up and are billed accordingly. Ask your officiant for a detailed list of services and pricing. Do not be afraid to question or negotiate. Most will offer packages to cover the entire process.

Know what you are looking for in an officiant

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You are armed with questions and are prepared to interview officiants. Take your time and balance out those who give the correct answers to those who connect to you as a couple. The ceremony is much more than words. It conveys a feeling of love, honor, and trust between you and the officiant is the catalyst. Meet with them, interview them, and then, as my Dad would say, “What does your gut tell you?”

I am here for a gut-check anytime and would love to talk with you about becoming a part of your wedding ceremony. Schedule a free consultation, and let’s talk!


Maid of Honor Speech Weddings

What should a maid of honor speech say?

The maid of honor speech is relatively new to the wedding reception experience and should convey a heartfelt sentiment to the happy couple. The good news for the maid of honor is that there are no set rules for the maid of honor speech. The best man speech seems to carry a bit more weight, and with that, slightly more pressure.

The maid of honor speech should engage and enlighten the wedding guests to the newlyweds as they made their way from two separate people into one couple. Sharing your bird’s eye view of the couple’s journey with humor and emotion will have the best man shaking in his tux.

How long should a maid of honor speech be?

The maid of honor speech comes right before the best man speech. According to, The traditional wedding speech order goes father of the bride, groom, best man, and other toasts. However, lots of brides now choose to give a speech, as do the bridesmaids or maid of honour.

If you are including these, the order should go father of the bride, groom, bride, bridesmaids/maid of honour, best man. The best man’s speech always goes last.

The maid of honor has the distinct advantage of a no-pressure deal. Many brides do not request the maid of honor to make a speech. Therefore, a short, less than five-minute speech with a toast does the trick. Better yet, sometimes the speech is given at the rehearsal dinner so your duty will be done before the big day and you can relax!

How do you write a maid of honor speech?

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Please, whatever you do, do not wait until the night before to write the speech. Ladies, do not listen to the best man when he tells you he is just going to wing it. Absolutely not. The maid of honor carries the duty and responsibility to deliver a memorable speech. Break it down into manageable pieces, and it comes together much more straightforward.

  • Introduce yourself. Short and sweet. It is not about you, but you want everyone to know who you are and how long you have known the bride.
  • Start with her, and end with ‘them.’ Share your experiences with the couple from when you knew the bride up until the day she said yes. How did the groom impact her and her life? Them culminate the complete the story with your view of their life as a couple.
  • Raise a glass. Your toast should be 100% you, meaning deliver what best identifies you and your relationship with the bride and couple. Wish them the best, in whatever words and thoughts you feel most comfortable.

Strike a balance of humor and emotion

It is a privilege to be asked to be the right hand ‘soul’ of the bride. Traditionally a best friend or sister is the maid of honor of choice. However, modern times have shown that a man can be in that ‘bestie role’  as the honor attendant or man of honor. In that case, it is a balance of humor and emotion and can highlight the bride’s loyalty to her best friend, whether man or woman.

Be respectful and engaging. If you are the man of honor, share a simple story of your deep friendship and what it means to be in this role. There won’t be a dry eye in the place!

Why should you hire a maid of honor speechwriter?

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At first glance, writing the maid of honor speech does not seem so difficult. You probably think you can Google it or watch it on YouTube. True, but doesn’t the couple deserve your full time and attention on that particular day?

I compose the maid of honor speech with you, not for you. Schedule a free consultation to collaborate on the ideal maid of honor speech. (We work on and practice the delivery too!)

Best Man Speeches Weddings

4 Ways to Avoid a Cringeworthy Best Man Speech

Gentlemen, you do not want to be the best man who delivers a cringeworthy best man speech, do you? You are asked to speak at a wedding for someone significant to you. A wedding day is arguably one of the most important days in a couple’s life. Whether it is their first wedding or a renewal of their vows, you want your best man speech to be memorable in a good way.

How long is a best man speech?

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We have all been at weddings or events when the speaker overstays their welcome. We have also been engaged with speakers who entertain us, make us laugh, and shed a tear. It can be done.

We recommend the best man speech to be no longer than 4 to 6 minutes in length or about 780 words spoken at a comfortable pace. The bar is set, the monkey is on your back, and you have five minutes to make your words count. How do you do it?

Prepare your best man speech. Winging it does not work.

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I recently spoke with a young man in his late 20’s. Let’s call him Max. Max was asked to be the best man, and with that comes the best man speech or toast. Since they were in middle school, he has known the groom and was very close to the couple who lived in his dorm and met in college. How hard can this be?

The night before the wedding, the bride asked Max about the speech. He assured her he was ready and was simply going to wing it and talk about them and the history they share. The poor bride panicked, and together they mapped out the speech on a napkin. The next day, a nervous and unprepared Max delivered a mediocre best man speech. Always prepare for a speech. It is time well spent, and practice does make perfect.

Be personal and appropriate.

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bride and groom holding beautifully decorated wedding glasses with champaign

My brother-in-law, John, delivered a heartfelt and humorous best man speech. John was a perfectionist and prepared the speech and practiced it numerous times before the wedding. He shared moments early in our relationship as a couple and with him. John’s efforts were well spent and forever memorable.

Sharing personal stories can make a grandmother shed a tear, and a father-of-the-bride realize why his daughter loves the groom. On the flip side, telling tales of late-night fraternity parties or spring break trips to Florida never end well. It is best to avoid:

  • past relationships
  • any form of adult humor
  • negative thoughts about marriage, family, or couple
  • forced humor such as awkward jokes or long-winded stories

If you have even a slight inclination that it may not be a good idea, it probably isn’t.

Do not drink before the speech.

Raising a glass to the happy couple should be enjoyed after your speech. Drinking before will not calm your nerves. Drinking will dull your senses and affect the ability to focus. You have the whole evening to enjoy a spirit or two. I promise it is well worth the wait.

Close with a toast

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The couple chose you to be the best man and represent them, so thank everyone for being there. Close with a heartfelt thought or quote and avoid cliches or trendy ideas. (Do NOT Google best man speech jokes!) Believe it or not, the best man can be so nervous and so caught up in the delivery that they close with a simple thank you and forget the toast. Be confident and raise your glass. Lead their friends and family celebrating with them a toast to wish them the best on this special day.

It is okay to hire a best man speechwriter.

Couples, perhaps you are experiencing a slight hesitation with your best man selection and feel the need for a little one-on-one coaching and some literary assistance to help him through.

The internet may tell you that hiring a best man speech writer will deliver a canned and impersonal speech. That may be true if you…. “complete an online questionnaire, and for $99.13, you will receive a custom-made best man speech delivered to your inbox!”

I don’t work that way. It takes, on average, five hours to write a best man speech. This includes time spent with the best man, with or without the couple too. Understanding the dynamic and the chemistry that aids the creative process. Then we work together to create a flow that is comfortable for the best man to deliver. We practice that delivery too, either in person or on Zoom.

There is no such thing as a bad best man, just an unprepared one that needs a little support and TLC.

Love Letters

Love note to Chip- I bought a new dress

Our first date is the calendar date I celebrate most because without that first date, there would be no wedding date, no anniversary, no birth of our children. May 14, 1986, is when my life started when I bought a new dress. Thirty-five years later, and I can still picture that dress and almost every moment of our date.

I bought a new dress

Chip, you asked me out on a Wednesday night for dinner and a movie, so I bought a new dress. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I was so excited. I went to work that day in my business clothes, and I brought my new dress and pink pumps. I changed my clothes before you got there and followed you to your house.

You did not appear as nervous as I was, maybe you were, but I didn’t know it.

The restaurant you selected was The Gingerman, in Albany. You parked across the street, and came around and opened my door. You took my hand to shepherd me across the traffic, and I will never forget that moment. I knew right then.

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The Gingerman became the place that we frequented often over these 35 years until they closed their doors. We celebrated our engagement, the day we became pregnant, and the anniversary of that momentous first date on numerous occasions.

I can still see that extraordinary dress

The dress was not that extraordinary other than to remind me the rest of the evening was a blur.

My focus was solely on you. I laughed as I learned more about you and the events and people in your life who brought you to me that night. Over the years, I have thanked many of them for molding you into the husband, friend, and father that I get to enjoy every day of my life.

Chipper, your movie selection skills have sadly not improved. JoJo Dancer starring Richard Pryor was an abysmal choice, yet I honestly do not remember watching the movie at all. I remember holding your hand, in that dress.

I do, however, remember that kiss. A kiss is much more than the act itself; it is an opening of your heart and soul that draws in the other’s heart and soul. That night I truly believe our hearts and souls became one.

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Why did I buy a new dress?

All these years, you have never asked me why I bought a new dress for that date. I bought a new dress because I knew this was the beginning of the rest of my life. Our first date deserved something more than an old outfit from my closet. Our date needed significance – mission accomplished.

When I woke up the next morning, I told my mother to buy her special dress because you were the one I was going to marry.

I don’t need a new dress anymore

I just need you.

Years later, we went to dinner at Pascale’s in Syracuse. You took me to the mall because you wanted me to have a new dress for that date. I sadly cannot remember the date, but that doesn’t matter. I may be wrong, but I don’t think you thought about our first date and my new dress when you made that beautiful gesture that day. I, however, will remember it forever.



“Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be…”- Robert Browning

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Love Letters

How to write a love letter

A love letter is an intimate method of communicating one’s true feelings. It takes time, thoughtfulness, and effort to pen a love letter. While somewhat intimidating, you are writing your true feelings to the person you love creating a bond more significant than words. The recipient has most likely heard the stories, experienced your passion, but now hold in their hands a keepsake statement of your love that they will hold dear forever.

How do I write a love letter?

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You are about to express your feelings for the person who arguably holds your heart in their hands. The pen is the same as your voice, so choose the words that sound most like you. Be genuine and straightforward. Anything other than that won’t be you.

Before we get to the components of a love letter, think about why you are writing it.

  • Is it a new love and you want to share your feelings?
  • Are you preparing your love for an imminent proposal, and you want to set the stage?
  • Did you do something wrong, and are you looking to smooth things over?
  • Long-distance relationship? Tell them why you miss them? What it is about them that you long for.

No matter why, make sure you keep the reason in the forefront of your writing, so the message is strong and clear.

The components of a simple love letter

It is very simple. Cut to the chase from the opening line and tell him/her why you are sending this letter. Expose your heart and soul and capture their attention. Gents, if you are writing to a woman, you have already captured her heart. Telling her that you love her, kissing her goodnight, or sending flowers does not even rank against a well thought out and intimate written expression of your feelings.

When I write a love letter for someone, I ask them questions about the recipient to personalize the letter for only them.

  1. What is your relationship? Are you dating, engaged, or married? Perhaps this letter is not a love letter but an introduction letter to someone you are interested in and looking to ask on a date?
  2. What do you love or like about them? Be specific and not trendy or cliché. Remember, this a forum most likely more comfortable for you to express your thoughts than in person.
  3. Tell me about a romantic memory you have that changed your life. Set the scene and reminisce about a party where you met, how you felt before the first date, or the first time you kissed.
  4. How has this person changed your life? Tell them straight out and be authentic and what life would be like without them.
  5. What does your future hold? Share your thoughts about the future. Maybe it is just another date or the hint of a lifetime together.

Is it better to handwrite or type a love letter?

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I don’t think there is a right answer to this, but personally, handwritten letters imply that time and effort was taken to capture your love on paper. If your handwriting is not the most legible, typing it and printing on a fine paper is more than acceptable- especially when you add your signature and a little something-something at the footer.

Romance is not dead

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Valentine’s Day is two weeks away. The art of a love letter is not dead, and you might create a channel for the romance between you to be saved and shared for generations to come. Be daring and brave this Valentine’s Day and deliver a love letter for the ages. Chocolates, wine, and flowers are all sure to please, so do not listen to the voice in your head that says, ‘no one writes love letters.’  Well, maybe that is true, but you can be a trendsetter!

Need a little help writing to your true love?

Be brave and reckless. Open your heart and expose that underbelly. I can help you organize your thoughts, and together we will create a memory and keepsake for the object of your affection. Let’s connect.